She hasn’t said anything, but you suspect your mom is struggling to take care of herself and her home.

“Older people rarely ask for help. They’re afraid of losing their independence, and they don’t want to burden family members or friends,” said Sierra Goetz, co-founder and operations manager at Tudor Oaks Home Care’s partner, the HomeCare Advocacy Network (HCAN). “Unfortunately, that often means they’re not getting the help they need with things like housekeeping, meal preparation and personal care.”

So how do you know when it’s time to give mom a little extra help at home? Goetz advises looking for the following red flags:

Your aging mom is failing. She doesn’t need skilled nursing or assisted living yet – just a little help with things like light housekeeping, meal prep and getting in and out of the shower. You’ve heard a lady from your mom’s church sometimes works as an independent caregiver, but is that the best option?

“Private caregivers make up what we call the ‘gray market’ – providers who are unrelated to the client, not working for a regulated agency and potentially uninsured  and untrained,” said Mark Goetz, co-founder and president of Tudor Oaks Home Care’s partner, the HomeCare Advocacy Network (HCAN). “While hiring one of these independent caregivers might seem like a good idea, families should be aware of the risks.”